When I think of you -- comes with stumbles across your website, autumn leaves, bike rides across the Nickel Bridge -- I think of your parent's house looming large and white in the night; your kamikaze cat who would leap from the stairs and sink its claws into passers-by; "Walk to the Water" by U2; your brother looking almost as beautiful as you every time I met him. Lots of things, but those most of all. I hope you are well and basking in California. Come visit.

Beautiful post. I believe photos show exactly what they're meant to, even if its not what you thought you were capturing when you opened the shutter.

Funny how our dear departed ones find ways into our lives that we don't always expect. I'm finding myself missing my grandmother so much as I'm planning my wedding, and I didn't expect it to be this way.

A lovely post, lovely pictures, and I love Thelma. I agree with you about the overexposed photos -- they really capture something.

A lovely piece, Julia. The Sam in my life is my father, and I hope I'd have the same dignity and grace in talking about him as you do for your brother, Sam.

Thanks to everyone for sharing your thoughts on this post. I meant to turn off the comments, but I'm so glad that I didn't. Everyone has had such insightful things to say.

Amy - I use a self-timer for my photos, but you could use a remote as well. The thing about the self-timer is that you have a little less control, which I kind of like because the photos turn out to feel a little more spontaneous in nature.

What a lovely homage to your brother. Thanks for sharing it with all of us.

Thelma is lovely, Julia. I really like the light-blue stripe at the bottom. Your color choices, as always, are perfect.

Oh, Julia. Much love. Beautiful writing, beautiful Thelma... beautiful friend!

Thelma looks great. Thanks for sharing that little bit of your brother with all of us.

(And a technical question: Do you use a wireless remote to take self-portraits, or a timer?)

I am so happy that Sam came to visit for a bit. It always comforts me to think that we never truly lose anyone, that they are just in a better place waiting for our turn to join them. Whenever I feel like they've come for a visit, it's a comfort to think that they miss me just as much as I miss them.

I've been a lurker on your blog for years - so sorry about your brother. I, too, have recently lost a brother, and your post made me a bit teary. I think that I channel my bro everyday...........

I think they are wonderful pictures, and a real gift you gave yourself. Seeing the ones we love, even in our own face, gives us a piece of them we can see. That goes beautifully with the presence of them we feel. You look gorgeous.

Isn't it interesting how some little thing or another can spark such thoughts and memories? That happens with me and thoughts of my mom. I know we have talked about this all before. It's hard, but also really good to have these moments of reflection, I think. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. And the photos. I think they're perfect. Thinking about you today. xo.

Isn't that interesting? Whenever I see a picture of myself that doesn't look like "me," or even sometimes, passing a mirror, I always tell myself that I'm just seeing Susan (my identical twin who only lived several hours). And in fact, I have a photo of me and Chappy at home that's double-exposed, and Mom and I think that Susan and Katy (Chappy's predecessor) just wanted in on the action. (It's a nice thought behind the lousy photography, anyway.) But anyway, the point is, it's always interesting how, sometimes, other family members appear in your face for no other reason than, apparently, to say hello.

Oh, and if you wanted to do a self-knitting-portrait tutorial, that would be just wonderful!

I love it when photos come out not quite right but somehow they're perfect the way they are.

What a nice remembrance of your brother, Julia.

I sometimes see my dad in photos of myself... and I wonder what other non-physical bits I mirror, too. I think it happens more when the person's not around to ask.

Love the hat with the top.

Beautiful Thelma, beautiful photo shoot, beautiful sentiments.

found your website through someone else's blog.

i've been really impressed by how great your photos are, and i would love to read a tutorial on how to take great self-portraits on a digicam.

best.

*hugs*

I relate so intensely to the startling feeling of looking at yourself and seeing that person you lost, instead. I'm the mirror image of my father, and every now and then I'll look at a picture and realize I've got that head tilt, the slightly skeptical look, or the squint that he always had.

And it's like he's in the room with me again.

I'm glad you get to remember Sam, like I get to remember Henry.

Also, lovely sweater!

I've seen a few pictures of Sam and I think you are right, the resemblance is pretty clear when you aren't smiling.

Sometimes a little dip in your past can be really good for your soul.

Thelma, by the way, looks wonderful on you.

great photo shoot girl.

talking about the hard stuff is uplifting...

Beautiful pictures, and beautiful post. Thanks, sweetie!

It is amazing how our lost loved ones can come back to us at the least expected times. Thanks for sharing with us about Sam.

And you're right, those will be treasured photos of you by those who love you now and in the future.

Beautiful photographs. Light can make you see all. :)

I'm glad you got a chance to talk about Sam. Funny how the universe finds a way of telling us what we need.

Wish I could hug you, is all I can say.

i agree absolutely with how you describe them - they also have a look of the old west, with your hat and your fierce face, it's just really lovely all together. and man, you totally rock that top, go you.

it's spooky but unexpectedly comfy to see family resemblences sometimes, isn't it? i'm like that with my nieces, and i look just like my grandma too some say - i love that continuity and can't wait to see it in future generations. anyhow, a nice hug out to you ~ and how's the spinning going? i'm still drooling over my yarn. ;)

Beautiful, all around.

I am so sorry for your loss. I have a brother sam as well.

thelma is beautiful, as are the photos.